First sleepover.

Mila had her first sleepover last week. It was at my parents', of course. We had planned that she would spend Saturday night there while we went out but everything went very very awry (more on that later! Our roughest evening with two yet!) so plans were cancelled. But Mila still wanted a sleepover as we had been excitedly talking about so the very next night it was. And even though we missed her SO much, it was nice having time with just one child. A mini vacation! It's as close to a date night as we can get these days and we'll take it.

This was the 'before' shot. You can tell she is really, really broken up over having to leave her dear old mom and dad for the night. True anguish. 

Besides, Marmousch was wonderful and emailed me pictures throughout the day of all their adventures. It kept me laughing and at ease knowing she was in such great hands.

All smiles at breakfast with her "baby Dush" as Mila calls it (Dutch Baby).

A little footsie dip in the pool

Chillaxing in mah raft

This one Marmee emailed with the caption, "3rd breakfast...oatmeal." That is SO Wugs; she would have 8 breakfasts if she could!

...with her dirty feet!

Naptime on Nonna and Nonno's bed...

I even got to see what her bedhead looked like.

 

Then she finally agreed to get dressed.

But before they headed back to us, Lamby Wamby needed one last ride on the scooter.

Mila had a ball and we were so grateful that she was getting showered with so much love! As a parent there is no one like your child and you want everyone to see how funny/smart/kind/etcetera they are; you ache for people to see them with the same eyes you do. And grandparents...they do.

One year ago.

March 18, 2012. A Sunday. I got up and went to my CPR renewal course that I have to do every 2 years for work--mine expired in April so I was just getting in under the wire (as usual!). I sat through the class with a silly secret-smile grin. I had a plan. I dutifully learned the new regulations, passed the skills test, passed the written test, hurried home. Steve and Wugs were already napping and instead of joining them in our big bed I excitedly made a beeline for the bathroom cabinet under the sink, where one last pregnancy test sat, waaaay at the back. Waiting. Waiting for me. 

I could hardly wait to pee on that thing. I didn't allow myself look at the test windows but left the bathroom with every bit of willpower I could muster. Five agonizing minutes went by, and then heart racing, I crept back. Took a deep breath, and looked.

Double lines.

Double lines means positive. 

I was pregnant. The soul of our second child had finally come to us. Shortly after my little family woke up from their nap, I slyly snuck Mila the (capped) stick and had her bring it to Steve, and he examined it casually at first, then equal parts excited and shocked as understanding set in. And then we took on the Golden Gate Bridge. 

In my world, besides the one that Mila came into this world on, there has never been a more perfect Sunday. One year ago. Just look at that perfect soul now.

Auguri auguri auguri

Iphone outtakes while trying to send a birthday message. In other words, it's impossible to get a self-timer photo with everyone looking at the camera.

Today is Simona's birthday! Simona is wonderful. Ever cheerful, ready to listen, thoughtful, and she lights up a room just by walking into it. We adore her. A big hope of mine is that someday Mila and Dani are as close as Marmee is with Simona. Sisters. They make it look awesome.

We love you Simona. Thank you for being born!

The fair.

It was my girls' first time at the fair, technically the Indian River County Firefighter's Fair but really the formal title isn't needed. Everyone around here knows what you're talking about (much respect to firefighters though). I can still remember going with my girlfriends when I was in junior high and high school, trying to abide by what I thought was a ridiculous curfew (I get it now, Marm!) and I'm excited to experience it now through my littles' eyes. I hope they don't find the carnies scary like I did (but I hope they steer clear), I hope they like the crazy upside-down rides like I do, and can't wait until we can all race down the tall slide together, each of us in a lane with a raggedy carpet square.

And now it really feels like I've come back home.

p.s. I tried fried oreos for the first time. I kinda liked it while eating it? But then immediately regretted it. So I guess I won't be getting that again.

4 months old.

Saturday marked 4 months old for my Dani. I love this girl with every ounce of me (and there's more of that these days, ouch). She is sunshine personified. We're in this stage now where so much as a gaze directed at her elicits huge gummy smiles, legs kicking, arms dancing. Her whole body will light up and in turn, yours will to. She melts me while electrifying me. All of us here adore her. I can already tell she has a huge and gentle heart. I love that heart.

I still can't believe how easy she is. This is that mythical 'angel baby' that I read about in the parenting books when I was pregnant my first go-around. She rarely cries, is soothed easily, is generally content and easygoing. Again, I'm pinching myself. Both Steve and I are in awe. I wear her everywhere, although the ring sling is getting less comfortable and now our go-to is my new girasol wrap or the ergo. I love the sweet smiles from strangers when we're out and about and Dani's wrapped up and snuggly against me--usually sleeping as she takes marathon naps when being worn. I feel so honored that I get to be her mother.

Of course the drawback to being a more relaxed and easygoing parent with your second child is the fact that you're more stretched for time and the one-to-one attention which you desperately want to give them. Every day I get a new chance to strive for balance--some days I fail and other days the scales tip towards something I can accept. It's so much harder to keep up with all of her changes and simply the evolution that is Dani...like I could with Mila. And yet I want to remember Dani in all those little and big ways, the way I could with her sister. Maybe in some ways I'm even more desperate to get it all down, wanting to defy so badly the second-child stereotype. 

And so I will write about the way she froths at the mouth, a veritable drool-bucket, so much spit and dribble on her chin that the front of her shirt will be soaked within a couple hours upon waking. The way she keeps her arm bent, hand fisted and tucked around her ear when she's nursing to calm a stressful moment. Her shy and easygoing smiles in the early morning. The nearly audible sigh of relief that her whole body takes as she's being swaddled at night. She cranes her neck looking for any of us, those lips pursed like a bird you almost expect to hear coo's. How when she's on her tummy and spots herself in the mirror she'll burst into a lazy, lopsided grin and her eyes crinkle in sheer delight of that other baby. The way she intently studies everything we do together as I'm carrying her; wide-eyed and storing it away for future use. The stinky, sweaty insides of her palms in the morning as I unswaddle her. How she puts her entire hand in her mouth and audibly goes to town when she's not busy nursing. Her triple stack of chins that is most pronounced when she's studying her fingers. The quiet calm and ease with which she lets us give her a bath. That moment when she unlatches and, asleep, rests her head against me while tilting her head upwards. The way her lashes frame her sweet sleeping face. Her hands which flap and startle from a still-present Moro reflex when I pounce near her. She tilts her head towards mine and gapes up when I kiss her on the mouth. Giggles which are more like deep chortles when I'm tickling her, gently grabbing fistfuls of chubby thighs or poking her armpits. I can't make time stand still but these days one of my highest priorities (after that whole food/clothing shelter thing is taken care of) is getting it all down on paper.

See what I mean? She practically needs her own spit cup.

Happy 4 months my darling Dani Lu. 
God bless you.

Mila's room.

I'm so excited that Mila finally has a room to call her own. She did when she was first born but in California her crib was in our walk-in closet (No judging! Harry Potter slept in a closet and he turned out brilliant ;) so 'her' space was very little. Now she has a great little room, and it's happily a happy place for me, too. It's the room I've put the most love and effort into and am constantly adding little details to (there are already changes since the time I took these pictures late last month), whether it's a new garland or wall hanging or 'necklace' for the teepee. I love making things and when I get to make it for someone who appreciates it, whose eyes light up and takes notice of anything new going on, then it's worth it. Please don't let her wonder and excitement for life ever stop.

Mr. Bowlerman mobile; tassel garland from Everly Lane Design

That gorgeous pillow behind Mila is from here!

The print is from Persimmon & Pink (sadly that etsy shop is now closed).

Mila's personalized embroidery hoop is from aewilder.

Lover's arrows are from etsy seller Brittany Bass. They stayed up all Valentine's month.

The mask was bought in Venice when we visited in 2006. I happily carried it by hand on trains, planes, taxis and buses.

The bunny nightlight is from Cissy Wears; it was pretty high on my Christmas wishlist last year!

*If I didn't source it...then it's probably handmade...or thrifted...or gifted (by Marmousch). xo

And a haff.

My Mila celebrated an unbirthday last Friday (we celebrate it on March 1st unless it's a leap year. We all wore party hats at breakfast, even Dani (gosh I wish I had captured that with my camera! but she didn't care for the strap and it came off quickly). There wasn't much time the night before to pull a lot together, but Wugs' stuffed animals and dolls were decked out in all her dress-up clothes and glasses, there was a washi-tape garland draped across her chair, and we had dessert for breakfast. Pinky-pie meringues with cream and raspberry curd--thank you, Steve, for piping in those puppies after my little meltdown. Tears while piping pink meringues! I can laugh about it now but it was a rough moment. But all that matters is Mila's elated expression all morning long. "Me's two and a haff today!" As I was clearing breakfast plates she was singing, "Haaaappy berfday to myself, haaappy berfday to myself...yaaaaaaay!" and then, "Mama, why are you not saying 'aaaaand maaaaany moooore?" What a girl, that one. 

Reading that I still can't believe she's become so articulate, speaking in complex sentences and connecting ideas. This was the baby with the jet-black eyes that locked into mine while I was still on the operating table. It was five minutes ago, and it was a lifetime ago.

Halfway through her second year, Mila is certainly doing all the normal boundary-pushing things that toddlers do. She has my stubborn streak and Steve's mischievousness. Sometimes we heave a sigh of relief when she finally goes to sleep for the night, and then an hour later we're wanting to wake her up just to snuggle with her. Because despite the exasperating moments (for her and me!), this is a wonderful age, friends. The I love you's are sincere now since she knows what they mean. She strokes my face and hair when I go in for the millionth time to coax her to sleep. She has comedic timing. At 2 1/2. Can you believe it? The kid is honest-to-God funny. She gets retorts out quicker than I can think them. Lately there's a lot of belted-out singing and dancing, there are imaginary friends with names like Reezey, Dindi, and Duo, and if you call her on my phone you'll get a play-by-play of what is going on that very second. 

Every day we talk about our highs and lows: "What were your happys and what were your sads?" as she says. Her happys always, always involve snuggling Dani. I'll lay Dani on her back and Mila will immediately materialize right next to her, usually seriously gazing into her eyes and often with her hand gently on her her sister. I'm liking where this is going. It hasn't been an easy transition (I'll have to write a post on our tiny breakthroughs, someday soon) but I think those two are going to be beautiful together. I do. 

Happy Unberfday Wugs. And even though I know you're excited about it, let's not rush our way to your 3rd Birthday, okay?