Bits of Our Christmas (1)

There were some rough spots, mainly being sick from weeks 2-4 of advent! Dani had a cold that was getting worse rather than better and lo and behold...double ear infection. Mila held out the longest but once it caught up to her oh boy. My heart broke to see her laying so listless on the floor, not wanting to move from the aches and fever. It troubled me to no end but really brought things into focus. I feel like some of my best mothering happens when my girls are sick...rubbing backs while they're throwing up, snuggling them on a pile of blankets--unconditional, selfless love in which nothing else matters. Back to our Christmas, though, which was perfect. I'll save Christmas day photos for another post because my computer is shuddering under all this uploading.

First things first, I never knew how much we needed a mantel. Maybe not need, I guess a mantle is more of a want. But boy am I ever glad we have one here on out. A whole new decorating surface! And it makes such a statement! I need to hang something in that big empty space, but I think I'm going to like this mantel thing, yes ma'am. My newest obsession took hold in early December (still wild about pom-poms though). Mini bottle-brush trees, bleach them white, then re-dye all sorts of beautiful colors. It's very seussian, no? I saw a pic floating around pinterest and then in a very timely fashion A Beautiful Mess posted a how-to. p.s. I totally googled mantel or mantle for spelling. 

 Other things I made this Christmas season...I finally finished Dani's Christmas stocking. I never did get around to making one last year but at six weeks old...she forgave me. Hers is the embroidered elf-girl one and I love how it turned out. Might be my favorite. Mila's is the sparkly red one with felt flowers--those were made last year for her whilst nursing nursing nursing a newborn. Steve's is the lone knitted one, made by me and there's somewhat of a story there but I'll spare you for now. Mine is the ragtag peach one. It started out as Mila's stocking but I never was satisfied with how the snowflakes turned out. I will say that for once I'm not loving how all our stocking are different...I'm the queen of NON matchy-matchy but I think there's something very traditional about matching stockings hung by the mantel with care. Still trying to figure out how I can marry the concepts of my homemade stockings with some sort of common thread. Maybe Christmas of 2014.

 

But enough about stockings, I made a couple other things. Even though I swore off the homemade dolls and softies after Mila's doll from this Christmas lost an arm and Huckle Cat lost both his eyes...I still ended up making a special doll for Mila and then one for Dani. Dani's ended up looking like Niki Minaj and her pink mop of hair is already coming undone. I may call do-over on that one (sorry Dani!). Mila's turned out perfectly. It was really sweet how the whole thing unfolded, actually; she's always leafing through my making-stuff books and I told her she could pick something out for me to make her. She firmly decided on the little boy from Wee Wonderfuls, "because I don't have any boy babies." Together we went to Joann's and she picked out the green corduroy fabric for his pants, his skin color, his hair, and I used one of her newborn onesies and turned it into a shirt. She loves it. And I do too.

 

 

But much more exciting than me making stuff: MILA made DANI a doll! They had these kits at Hobby Lobby with pre-made fabric dolls and you add the accessories. Mila had picked out a ballerina girl for her sister. And even though the double-sided tape it comes with to attach everything sucks, it's still a good little kit for a toddler (so long as their parent has a glue gun). The perfectionist side of me took a deep breath, stepped back, and let Mila affix the yarn hair all sloppy to her heart's content, with a nonexistent bun, askew tiara, etc. And it was wonderful--for her and for me. I LOVED having a special 'secret' project we worked on together over a couple days, loved seeing how excited Mila was to make something for her sister she adores. She even painted the box she gifted it in and helped write the label. Hands down one of my favorite moments of 2013, Mila giving Dani that little doll she made herself.

Dani got in on the making, too. Like I did with Mila just two years ago, her first painting was done on canvas and gifted to Steve. I have video footage, Dani Lu was NOT afraid to get dirty and all up in that paint and it was glorious. What a turkey she is. Another favorite moment, see the pictures below.

• times I watched Love Actually this Christmas season: 1. My sister and I quoted it the entire time.          

• This was the year Mila got a mini PINK tree in her room. I love it just as much as she does and we decorated it with hairclips and some homemade spin-art ornaments :) 

• Because everyone got so sick and things were suspended for a few days there (all except for tv...oh how the media comes on when we're sick!), there were some things we didn't get to. I had wanted to take Mila shopping to pick out a gift for a needy child, Toys for Tots or something similar since we had missed the giving tree Sunday at church. Salt dough ornaments happened after Christmas and not before (still fun though).  

• My Christmas fail: only buying one giant wreath at Michael's because I was being cheap and wanted to use a coupon for a second one as well, to hang a wreath in each of our dormer windows. Home Alone style. Of course they sold out for the season on my return trip. Hashtag next year.

• My unintentional Christmas gift: Steve getting called off on a day where Dani hadn't slept the night before and getting to bake my heart and stuffings out the next day while Steve drove around so she could sleep. I baked and I baked. Chocolate cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning, gingerbread loaves, gingerbread caramel corn, sugar cookies. The gift of time, every Mama's favorite.

And at the end of every day in December (well from the 4th on), no matter how harried and crazy (and miserable, when they were sick) it got, I always had this: I'd sit in the chair where I nurse Dani to sleep each and every night and from there, through two sets of windows, I could see the white lights twinkling in our tree. And all was well for those wonderful, calm moments. 

Also, huge for my mental state, there's been something about having a home to decorate that has made this place feel more like ours. Whether you do white lights for days the way I do or put lots of evergreen everywhere or glitz and gold...it's hard to not feel the warmth and love in a place all decorated for Christmas. It all came together, just in time. We're finally home.

our nativity

get it girl

very thankful I hadn't cloth diapered her in that moment

made with love by Mila

Santa 2013. The Weibel girls probably weren't his favorites.

Christmas Eve

PLEASE LET'S JUST TRY TO TAKE A PICTURE WHILE WE'RE ALL DRESSED UP FOR ONCE

store-bought wreath for our front door. money well spent...

...because this was my homemade wreath. i consider myself good at a few things...but wreaths just aren't my thang.

how Dani spent the first half of Christmas Eve mass. Steve waited it out in the car. Merry Christmas Eve, Dani Lu :)

Happy New Year!

2014 is here! 2013 in the books. It was incredible--events big like us buying a house and my nephew Robi being born, events small but nonetheless held dear to my heart like Mila's swim lessons and Dani's roly-poly self bobbing for apples on our new front porch. This past year stretched me so much in ways very very far out of my comfort zone, sometimes I handled it gracefully and often I didn't. I tried. I did a lot of apologizing in 2013. Fatty, our beloved huge-hearted crazy (more dog than) cat, was put to sleep in 2013 for medical reasons. That was hard, very very hard. House hunting started out fun and then wore thin. That stretched us. We fell in love with three different houses before the stars aligned and we finally got our house. Our first home. Moving and getting settled in---an ongoing process--stretched me. Dani went from a tiny, sleepy, curled-up baby to practically* a toddler, climbing and falling down and ER visits and everything ;) This past year Mila went to her first movie, learned how to swim, finally became friends with a little thing called a toilet, and transitioned to a twin bed from her crib. A big year all around. There were friendships rekindled that I'm so very grateful for. A whole year spent back in Florida near my family--I haven't been able to say that in awhile. 2013, you were good to us.

I'm not quite ready to share resolutions yet, I'm still mulling and muddling them over (but I promise at least one has to do with squeezing some exercise in--and house projects will probably take up another post entirely). One definitely has to do with blogging more...part of my job as mama is to be the memory keeper and this little space, even though it doesn't cover everything, certainly, is a part of that. I love the idea of grown-up Mila and Dani reading these words and feeling united in the same emotions and experiences of raising their children. Unfortunately when I get busy in real life it usually translates into less time here, obviously; 2014 promises to be no less busy but I'm going to try to prioritize blogging a little more. 

Most especially, I would love to be able to say at the end of 2014 that I found joy every day. Looking at these photos, just a few of my favorites from our Christmas and New Year's...it seems like a no brainer. Just look at those two turkeys. They're mine and they bring me joy on a near-constant basis. Even that last picture? The one where Mila is clearly being none too pleasant, Dani looks half past exhaustion, I have crazy eyes and Steve has his let's soldier on, damnit expression. Even there, taken at the end of a beautifully exhausting Christmas day filled with dear family and some long-overdue reunions. Even there I see it.

Happy new year! I hope it was wonderful and sparkly, surrounded by people you love.

a first.

Today was tough. We've been indoctrinated into a special club-- first ER visit as parents. Thankfully Dani Lu is okay, she has quite the shiner after her fall but nothing major was wrong. My baby. What a helpless, sickening feeling watching

There are beautiful days when I'm able to laugh and find joy in all those little moments that are dear to me...Mila goofing off at the table, Dani wanting to be held close, whole shelves being emptied on an hourly basis, books and babies scattered everywhere. And then there are days where I feel weighted down by it all, overwhelmed with things I want to do for the girls, feeling torn by the girls' different needs and not having the time to meet them all. Frustrated by different circumstances in our life and feeling like that's limiting us. During the rare 1:1 moments I feel guilty that I'm not with the other and vice versa. I know I only have two. And they're two AMAZING, relatively easygoing (well, Mila's a threenager but most of the time I can talk her down from the ledge) girls. And there are people with so many more, so much more on their plate and tougher circumstances. How do they do it? I keep wondering when things will get easier. I know they are, and there are moments --a lot of moments-- when I think we've arrived, when I can take a breath and not feel like the other shoe is going to drop. But then there are moments when I'm taking a trillion deep breaths, when I'm sighing inwardly, just so tired and a lot of anxiety doing a number on me. I know the new house has a lot to do with it and am confident that Dani and Mila are on their way to becoming the best of friends. It's comforting to think that in a years' time everything will be that much easier. Dani will be starting to talk and we'll have painted walls, some new furniture, photos and art will be up on the walls and it'll feel like home. And the girls will still make their little messes and Mila will still fight me to clean up. And that's okay. I'm not looking for perfect. I'm just trying to find joy in it all. I know it starts with me.

Anyways. Just trying to keep this space an honest reflection of life these days. Sometimes it's great. Then it's not. Then it's great again. Then it's not. The good with the bad, that sort of thing. One day at a time while still trying to keep the big picture clear in my mind.

Advent Calendar.

Advent: "a season of expectant waiting and preparation for the celebration of the birth of Jesus at Christmas." Advent is here! I kept this year's calendar very simple, and yet it just might be my favorite ever. I was preparing for a Christmas book/day advent calendar but a few weeks before December 1st...and still needing at least 15 more books...and wanting to seek out something a little simpler on our very full, very overflowing plates this season-- I spotted something similar on pinterest* and a couple clicks later was ordering the angel wings on amazon. Oh these dangerous smartphones and dangerous nursing-baby-to-sleep chunks of time. Also I've always loved the idea of 24 days of Christmas activities instead of yet another trinket/small toy/stuff. I haven't done the trinket calendar with Mila yet and have to admit it all seems a little overkill--24 days of stuff and little presents only to culminate in a huge day of presents and more stuff? I mentioned this before, I'm really trying to stay deliberate in our choices and keep the focus more on joy, in celebration of Jesus and giving rather than presents galore and Santa. Don't get me wrong, we'll definitely be visiting the big guy--we've actually seen him at a local Breakfast with Santa event already and surely he's coming to the Vero mall, right Santa? And you're cool with crying babies because that's most likely how it's gonna down, right Santa? But anyways. Trying to get back to more of an anticipation in our advent, thus the activities. Plus they're things we'd be doing anyways...like going to see Christmas lights, a living Nativity, today Mila and I made snowglobes, tomorrow we'll try our hand in cutting out snowflakes, that sort of thing. Basically a Christmas bucket list. How I love my lists :) 

I think the calendar's pretty self-explanatory, but basically I wrote the activities on slips of watercolor paper dipped in different watercolors just to give it a pretty effect, then on the back of each a small adhesive number for that day, each hole-punched and attached with twine to the wings. Easy peasy. I pretty much busted it out the day before and only Dani was the wiser, since she woke up while I was tying the string up. Mila also has a window pop-up calendar from my mom with scripture verses each day (she loves it, and all the windows were already popped open in one excited, unsupervised moment). And she has yet another calendar, this time holding leftover bits of Halloween candy. And I justified that one by rationalizing she'll be driven to learn numbers 1-24 by sight this way. Ha! Or at the very least it keeps me from eating that candy. Yeah, that's more like it.

*Steve came home from work one day recently and asked me, "Have you ever heard of pinterest?" Oh boy. I had a good laugh over that one.

p.s. Other advent calendars: Last year's (look at tiny tiny Dani towards the end of that post!!).   2011. 2010. 2009.

Thanksgiving and all these deals.

It's Monday night and I'm all shopped out, folks. I'm not nearly on top of my gift-giving game as I'd like to be but the majority of the girls' gifts that I'm purchasing are done. Now to make some "specials" and find just the right thing for a few adults. Adults are so much harder! It takes so little to make a child happy; I'm really trying to keep that in mind as I shop for the girls. Simpler is almost always better. Anyhoo, cyber this, small business that, it was awesomely exciting typing in those promo codes in all caps and seeing the price subtract but I need a big gulp of fresh air now. Or at the very least just a break from the computer and smartphone. I'd love to not shop for awhile but new homes seem to bleed money, everyone warned me and ours is no different. There are lots of little and big updates we're hoping to do over the next few years and of course I would love them all done at once. But I'm kind of glad we can't afford a sweep-of-the-arms renovation since I think (hopefully) it'll result in more thoughtful and deliberate choices that help our home be perfect for us. 

Onto more delicious things. Thanksgiving! Ours was lovely. We were at my parents with family and good friends--but my favorite was the surprise guest who came just before we sat down to eat: Steve. He had been scheduled to work but ended up getting called off. Marmee worked tirelessly on an incredible meal, her turkey is always just right, the stuffing always ends up so yummy, all the sides are just perfect...she's amazing. The few times Steve and I have attempted to pulled off a Thanksgiving meal for just us back when we didn't live close to family we either a) ended up sick (undercooked ham! to this day I can't stomach glazed ham. I just can't do it cap'n.) and/or b) didn't eat 'till 9 pm. Not even kidding. 9 pm dinner is romantic like 99% of the time EXCEPT on Thanksgiving, apparently. I like to think I know my way around a kitchen and yet all those multiple dishes at once intimidates the crap out of me. Someday I'll conquer it, someday. Just not in 2013. So I contributed two pies and a simple side of swiss chard in a béchamel sauce (Martha!) . I am quite proud of our person-to-pie ratio, we had 4 for 12 people. 11.5 really as most of Dani Lu's meal ended up on the floor, as did yours I'm sure when you were nearly 13 months old, don't lie. I loved my apple pie with 3 different kinds of apple slices layered in and a double crust. And a little late but I definitely shall have this book in my corner for next year. I've heard such great things. Aaaaaaaaaand, drumroll...this year's tried and true: Smitten Kitchen's green bean casserole with crispy onions. It sounds so unglamorous but green beans at Thanksgiving have always been a staple in our family and this recipe just elevates it. It's those dang crispy onions. And don't, DON'T, leave out the mushrooms even if you frequently can be found whining about the "texture" of mushrooms. Side note I'm married to one of those whiners. Chop them up superfine like Marmee did and they'll just hugely boost the flavor. And with that, pictures. There aren't too many, mostly because my hands were with baby and side note again, Dani was sweetly jealous of Robi :) She would practically tackle whomever was holding Robi in order to get in their arms. It was hilarious but a little stressful for the poor little Lu bug. 

Thanksgiving 2013 in the bag. I'm so grateful, so thankful for all of this.

Hello again.

Oh where to begin. Almost 7 weeks later and our little Dani has gone and turned the big one; one candle on her cake, one mama with her heart bursting watching her baby take it all in. It was as though she knew that day was all hers. I can't wait to share pictures and thoughts on our sweet and simple day.
And before that, Halloween whizzed by (ours was spectacular and I wouldn't change any of it, well except to buy donuts rather than frying them myself because sometimes storebought really is better). I also was all set to let loose my rant on how everyone seems to be glossing over poor Thanksgiving this year and all I see and hear these days is ChristmasChristmasChristmas. Already?! Maybe it's just me feeling even more overwhelmed than usual since we're knee-deep in wallpaper and hunting for the just-right furniture. My dear friend and I orchestrated a little Plymouth Day at our house last week where we made cornbread, corn husk dolls, talked about the first Thanksgiving (in puppet show form, which was a bust. Mila was all, "I'm not." Ha!) And today we experienced Vero's first ever corn maze, which although the stalks weren't higher than our heads like the midwestern ones likely are...was pretty crazy silly fun (related: snacks. everything's better with snacks!). It ended with ice cream and a giant tractor, what's not to like? 

The last time I blogged was the night before we moved. Now that was a terribly exhausting day. Steve and his buddy drove a big ole u-haul back and forth between our old apartment and new house 3 times. When he finally got home just before midnight, the girls sleeping on mattresses in our bedroom, we hugged and smooched and high-fived...we did it! We're home! Except...it didn't exactly feel like home? It felt like someone else's home. And it still does, in some ways. We're still adjusting and trying and often failing, stumbling when we grope around for a light switch that isn't there because we don't yet know where everything is by memory. Nothing is familiar. We're getting used to a new community. Getting used to a growing "Things We Need" list that lives inside my phone, ticking off everything from new drawer pulls (roosters in the kitchen, y'all are on borrowed time!) to shoe organizers to a drying rack. We're figuring out how to make this home work for us, and not the other way around. I think that's crucial. We're liking it here, but this in-between time is stressful. I wasn't expecting that. You would think I would be, what with all the moving around that we've done in the last 9 years (oh, an anniversary happened too! we even got away for a date, thanks Marm :) But there's something about having children...that protective mama bear instinct comes out and all you want to do is give them an instant haven, a place where everything is going to be okay. Home. I'm describing the essence of what home means to me. We're not quite there yet, but it's coming along. I feel it with every rip of wallpaper, every removal of ugly hardware and crossing of things off my beloved lists.


This Thanksgiving 2013, I am more thankful than ever for my family. My biggest driving force in carving out something special out of this new home of ours. They make it all worthwhile, over and over again.


I'll hopefully be back this weekend with pictures and maybe another tried and true recipe? Happy Thanksgiving!

Fall.

I know it's technically been fall for a bit now, and even more technically in Florida we never really get a fall, but I'm chomping at the bit (what is a bit? what does that mean? is it a horse term, a dog term?) to decorate our new home for Halloween. Our new home, which we're not even living in yet. Our new home which is covered in yucky, dusty, peeling wallpaper--some of which have farm animals! NOT EVEN KIDDING)--and we've already taken to removing some of it bit by excruciating bit. Actually we're haphazardly removing it which is likely most stupid of us...we'll start a wall, get sidetracked, then find ourselves in another room with one of the girls and spot a corner that looks like it could use a satisfying riiiiiiip. And that's how our home is looking like a foreclosure sale, all ripped up . Ha! I'm not worried. Steve and I are both motivated enough by our dislike of it that it's all coming down, priority number one. Followed by paint. You know, after we move all of our belongings and furniture into it. That still needs to happen.

Where am I going with this, this post titled Fall? I'm trying to be gentle on myself this year. I'll save my dream to cover our porch in pumpkins for next year. I'll try to squeeze in a week or two of bedtime stories read by candlelight, an October tradition borrowed from Design Mom, but for now our candlesticks have been packed away. And our Halloween books are still in a box labeled FALL that is sitting in Marmousch's garage. In other words, anything I can find the time and grace to squeeze in will be frosting on the cake and I'll pat myself on the back accordingly :) Of course there will be a pumpkin patch, trick or treating, I've already made apple cider donuts, and pumpkin donuts, beware! my new kitchen is coming for you! And not more than 4 minutes ago I was scheming how we could get to Boo at the Zoo, since conveniently this move has placed us significantly closer to our great little local zoo. And! Dani's skellyjams should be arriving any day now! And and and. Hello, fall. Even though we're very much in over our heads at the moment with a move and a very special person about to turn one...it's nice to see you, taste you (mmmm this recipe comes to mind), and smell you (bonfires! can we do a bonfire in our backyard before fall is over?!) 

On that note, here's a peek at our new lil home. I really do love the outside. Oh! That picket fence is going down at some point in the next year. It cuts the yard by 2/3 and while I'm all for the charm of a picket fence, I wanna be able to run through our front yard more.  But I love the gables, the blue (I'm thinking a contrasting red front door sometime soon? thoughts?). And most amazing is the 3 year old hambone all barefoot on her new front sidewalk. She's pretty excited about this whole thing and really, that's all I can hope for. Pumpkin donuts, pumpkin shmonuts.

p.s. Sorry about all the exclamation points. I call them 1 am exclamation points.
p.p.s. I updated the summer bucket list. I think we did pretty good (who wants to camp in Florida in the summer anyway? November screams camping in the south!). The final hurrah was stalking the ice cream man.