Yesterday

Oh Mils. Bebe Wugs. You are two months old now. I feel like I've known you a lifetime. We're starting, just starting, to hit our stride now. Your crying doesn't faze me anymore. You are turning me into a more confident mama. 

This was the month of the breastfeeding drama. Now that we have gotten over our hurdles, though, we are good. We are in it for the long haul (whatever that may be). You still nurse all day long, it seems, but I love it now. I love seeing how much comfort you get from it, I love the cuddling, I love seeing your little hands all tense in the beginning and then slowly begin to relax. Besides putting you into the sling and walking around outside, it's the only way I'm able to get you to sleep during the day. And quite honestly, our naps together on the bed are my favorite part of every day. You snuggle up against me and this love knows no bounds.

You are starting to vocalize a lot now and your voice is awesome. I put you on your playmat and suddenly you're making sounds like OOOOHHHHH and EEEHEHHHHHH but you say it like your sucking every last bit of air into your lungs. It's adorable. Other cool things: you roll from your tummy to your back, the nonstop action of your arms and legs has earned you the title of Puppetmaster, you tuck your lips in and smack them when seeing something you like, your smiles, oh your smiles (never was there anything better), you adore bathtime, and when on your tummy make these gentle mmmmmmm sounds and put on the bravest face imaginable. 

I joke that you are tragically serious. Your eyebrows are furrowed when you're in the car seat. It's as though you are giving yourself a 'suck it up, be tough' pep talk the entire time. Or maybe you are jealous of that other baby looking back at you. But you are such a great girl. Everyone thought it was a fluke when you started sleeping 9 hours a night but I believed in you and thankfully, when nighttime comes you know what to do. It's as if you're saying, I've got this, mom. 

Every night after we lay you down your dad and I still look at each other and say I love her. We feel like we've won the lottery. I still peek in on you and stare a million times a night and think I'll be doing that until you're twenty. The other night I was watching a college graduation scene in a movie and started sobbing knowing that will be you one day. There is something bittersweet in knowing that you are living the best years of your life right now. 

Thank you for opening my eyes to what I was missing out on.