Thursday, 11 April 2013

on communicating.

Today we went in search of a new car. A minivan. We've gone and turned into parents--Saturdays spent at soccer fields and late weeknights at little league practice is for sure in our future--but this post isn't of the We're Buying a Minivan! variety. It's about car shopping. It's miserable, isn't it? How about when you have a toddler and baby in tow? A hot Florida sun, we forgot to pack snacks (someone take our parenting rights away!), Dani was getting tired, I needed to nurse her, the car salesmen seemed particularly contemptible and way too was looking grim. Disastrous.

But we held it together. I was proud of us. We're trying to raise people who can communicate. Who can verbalize feelings, resolve conflicts, and have competent, meaningful relationships. Skills for life. To me it's more important than any college education. There are people in my family who can't speak without yelling, can't take a stand in an argument without berating the other person, and throw all-out tantrums when they don't get their way. I've seen too much to know that my children deserve better than that when they look to me. Lead by example. It's certainly not always the easiest or most spontaneous route to take, but we're trying. Every day.

So back to the car dealership. We, flustered, got back into the car with a fussy Dani and angry, whiny Mila. As we drove away Steve and I explained to Mila (while I nursed--yes I nurse when the vehicle is in motion! Nutty and talented mama that I am.) that we weren't upset at each other...we were just frustrated at the situation. That it was hot, we too were hungry, and sometimes those two things can make people grouchy. And maybe this wasn't the best day for car shopping. Admitting defeat but in that moment I could have cared less about any damn car since I knew Mila understood. She said I love you Mama, which is what she says lately after a bout of feistiness just so she knows everything's okay between us. 

And a few minutes later when we walked through our front door in a heap Steve grabbed my butt and said intimacy 2013 or something like that while babies swirled at our feet which made me laugh.  And just like that, the stress and sweaty hot sun and frustration just melted away. He makes me laugh every day, and I know we have each other. We're trying our best to raise them right. They're pushing us to be better people, these two.

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