Monday, 13 May 2013

My own Mama.

How thankful I am that I got to spend today with my mom. We sat together in church this morning--even though we were late, we're always late!--she held Dani the whole hour and I knew she was happy to hold her. This girl whose middle name Lu is in honor of Marmousch: Luisa.

There is no one like my mom. She is strong and kind and warm-hearted and in some ways we are exactly alike and then there are other ways which I desperately want to be like her but it comes so much harder for me. She is forgiving. She is endlessly thoughtful. She is generous with everything: her time, her things, her happiness. She spends entire days with the girls and I, showing up on the doorstep with a smile on her face and a cup of coffee in hand--and she shoos me away to take a nap after lunch when Mila is sleeping and Dani is freshly awake. Because of her I can shower at times other than 11 pm. She is always up for an adventure. Everything is special when she's around. She tells me I'm doing a great job even on days when I feel like I'm failing at everything. Marmee was and always will be at the top of the list for Reasons Why We Needed to Move Back to Florida. It just had to be this way.

There are moments when I'm talking to Mila and suddenly I feel like I'm her, like I've become my mom. Classic, right? A lot of people say that in wry amusement but for me it is a happy realization. I've been on both the receiving and giving end of a mother's love and I get it now. All those cliches. It's hard work, it's thankless sometimes, but it's something I feel I was born to do. And it's because of my mom. She always set such a beautiful example, which I now know is much harder than it seems at a glance. Thank you Marmousch, for the gift of you that you gave all your life and still do. We love you so.

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