Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Past week.

I was in a funk last week. The last time that happened I was very pregnant and not seeing the bright beam of light at the end of the tunnel. It usually happens when I'm feeling overwhelmed plus poor sleep plus a frustrating situation of feeling stuck. Like in Oh, the Places You'll Go!, a book heavy in Mila's rotation lately, where they talk about the waiting game (Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go...). Every time I read that page to her I silently scold myself for getting caught up in it despite Theodore Geisel's best warning. We are waiting on a house. Where is it? I've seen every listing in the MLS search engine in Indian River County, is it even out there? Will we be renting this apartment forever? But I'm no longer asking myself these overly dramatic questions because I'm on the other side of this funk, whatever it was. My eyes were opened by my sister-in-law and Marmousch who brought me much-needed perspective, and now I realize how good we've got it. True, when we go outside to look at the moon we're standing in a parking lot. And no, Mila can't paint at her easel on our deck outside while I watch her from the kitchen window--as I prepare a homecooked meal in our fabulous kitchen. Our kitchen is tiny. Things fall out when I open the cabinets. I curse a lot in that kitchen. But what I do have is time. Time that I won't get back. Time for my girls, time for this family Steve and I work enthusiastically (and admittedly sometimes not so enthusiastically), to create and nurture and above all love.

So these were some of my happy's (a nightly ritual with Wugs) from last week.

Doing washcloth swirls in the water while singing Amazing Grace to Mila as I was gently bathing her at seven in the morning last Wednesday; she had been vomiting since six.

Seeing loving family members carry a wheelchair-bound woman with MS into the Atlantic Ocean last week and assist her to float. Wugs will probably forget that but I never will.

Doing the bagnetto bagnetto bagnetto walk with Dani to the tub. It reminds me so much of when I would do it with M...yet it's different and special in its own right.

Watching Mila play 'swim lessons' in her rubber boat with Marmousch at the beach.

Going on a picnic last Saturday, playing 'soccer' with Wugs and watching her climb all over Steve. Oh, and hearing my toddler say things like, Don't pack away the galette! It's hilarious to me that galette is even in her lexicon but then again, so is bacon jam. 

p.s. All of Mila's happy's involved Dani. Dani watching her, Dani laughing at her, Dani reaching for her. Life is grand.

p.p.s. We are in full-on teething mode which means it has taken me three nights to be able to write this post. Line by line with lots of interruptions. It might be a little quiet around here for a bit. Or those teeth could show up finally and I could get my evenings back. Let's hope so.

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