Friday, 27 November 2009
the Friday after Thanksgiving
So if you haven't seen it, what in Sam heck are you waiting for? And if you have, just smile as I run through some of these beauties...
Sam: I know I should be thinking about Mum all the time, and I am. But the truth is, I'm in love and I was before she died, and there's nothing I can do about it.
Daniel: [laughs] Aren't you a bit young to be in love?
Daniel: Oh, well, okay... right. Well, I mean, I'm a little relieved.
Daniel: Well, because I thought it would be something worse.
Sam: [incredulous] Worse than the total agony of being in love?
Daniel: Oh. No, you're right. Yeah, total agony.
Harry: Tell me, exactly, how long it is that you've been working here?
Sarah: Two years, seven months, three days and, I suppose, what... two hours?
Harry: And how long have you been in love with Karl, our enigmatic chief designer?
Sarah: Um, two years, seven months, three days and, I suppose, an hour and thirty minutes.
Harry: I thought as much.
Sarah: Do you think everybody knows?
Sarah: Do you think Karl knows?
Sarah: Oh, that is... that is bad news.
Harry: Well I just thought maybe the time had come to do something about it.
Sarah: Like what?
Harry: Invite him out for a drink and then, after about twenty minutes, casually drop into the conversation the fact that you'd like to marry him and have lots of sex and babies.
Sarah: You know that?
Harry: Yes, and so does Karl. Think about it, for all our sakes. It's Christmas.
Harry: Sarah, how long have you been working here?
Sarah: Let's see...2 years, 6 months, 13 days and I suppose 2 hours?
Harry: And how long have you been in love with our chief enigmatic designer, Carl?
Sarah: (pause) 2 years, 6 months, 13 days and I suppose 1 hour and 45 minutes?
Harry: I figured as much.
Sarah: Does everybody know?
Sarah: Does Carl know?
Sarah: What should I do?
Harry: Tell him you want to marry him and have lots of sex and babies with him.
Karen: So what's this big news, then?
Daisy: [excited] We've been given our parts in the nativity play. And I'm the lobster.
Karen: The lobster?
Karen: In the nativity play?
Daisy: [beaming] Yeah, *first* lobster.
Karen: There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?
[on sheets of poster board]
Mark: With any luck, by next year - I'll be going out with one of these girls.
[shows pictures of beautiful supermodels]
Mark: But for now, let me say - Without hope or agenda - Just because it's Christmas - And at Christmas you tell the truth - To me, you are perfect - And my wasted heart will love you - Until you look like this.
[picture of a mummy]
Mark: Merry Christmas.
Collin: I don't blame you. Looks like dead baby fingers. What's your name?
Collin: And what do you do, Nancy?
Nancy: I'm a cook.
Collin: Ever do weddings?
Nancy: Yes I do.
Collin: They should have asked you to do this one.
Nancy: They did.
Collin: God I wish you hadn't turned it down.
Nancy: I didn't.
Colin: Exciting news!
Colin: I've bought a ticket to the States. I'm off in three weeks.
Colin: Yes! To a fantastic place called Wisconsin.
Colin: Yes! Wisconsin babes, here comes Sir Colin! Whoo hoo!
Tony: No, Col! There are a few babes in America, I grant you, but they're already going out with rich, attractive guys.
Colin: Nah, Tone, you're just jealous. You know perfectly well that any bar anywhere in America contains ten girls more beautiful and more likely to have sex with me than the whole of the United Kingdom.
Tony: That is total bollocks. You've actually gone mad, now.
Colin: No, I'm wise. Stateside I am Prince William without the weird family.
Tony: No, Colin, no!
Colin: Ja, darling!
Daniel: Tell her that you love her.
Sam: No way! Anyway, they fly tonight.
Daniel: Even better! Sam, you've got nothin' to lose, and you'll always regret it if you don't! I never told your mom enough. I should have told her everyday because she was perfect everyday. You've seen the films, kiddo. It ain't over 'til its over.
DJ: Wow. Thanks for that, Bill.
Billy Mack: For what?
DJ: Well, for actually giving a real answer to a question. Doesn't often happen here at "Radio Watford" I can tell you.
Billy Mack: Ask me anything you like, I'll tell you the truth.
DJ: Uh, best shag you've ever had?
Billy Mack: Britney Spears.
Billly Mack: No, only kidding...she was rubbish!
Jamie: Don't worry about it, it's not like it's bloody Shakespeare or anything.
Aurelia: (in Portuguese) This better not be some shit my grandmother could have written.
Jamie: I really must start making copies.
Aurelia: (in Portuguese) Who doesn't make copies?
Jamie: There'd better not be snakes in here.
Aurelia: (in Portuguese) Watch out for the eels.
Harry: What's that?
Shop clerk: It's a cinnamon stick, sir.
Harry: Actually, I really, uh, can't wait.
Shop clerk: Oh, you won't regret it, sir.
Harry: Wanna bet?
Shop clerk: 'Tis but the work of a moment. There we go. Almost finished.
Harry: [sarcastically] Almost finished? What else can there be? Are you gonna dip it in yogurt? Cover it with chocolate buttons?
David: It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there- fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge- they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is...all around.